Star Wars Babies to premier on Disney Channel in 2013…

Disney Buys Star Wars

Source: Reddit.com

So it’s official. Disney has bought Lucas Films with all the blood money from their Blu Ray vault. Whether Mickey Mouse being in control of Star Wars is a good or a bad thing, I don’t know. Personally, I feel like nothing could be worse than the shattered ruin that my childhood Sci-Fi fantasy has become. Luckily, I had a chat with Landon St. Gordon and we figured out how far into the dark side it could go.

It all started with this wonderful text from Landon:

“Disney to release Star Wars episode 7, first part of a new trilogy continuing the story of Luke, Han and Leia. I’m blood crying. “

And then it just slowly escalated from there…

In Episode 7 they are apparently helped by a fast-talking Ewok voiced by (insert any ethnic actor or Robin Williams).
-Trevor

Hayden Christensen reprises his role as a clone of Anakin Skywalker and finally fulfills his role as the father Luke never had.
-Landon

Everything looks bleak when Chewbacca can’t go to the Galactic Ball on Coruscant, that is until his Fairy God Jedi appears.
-Trevor

C-3PO and R2-D2 finally decide to tie the know after intergalactic gay robot marriage becomes legalized – the only problem is Zombie Boba Fett accidentally sent invitations to the Jawas who want to bring them both back into the droid slave trade.
-Landon

Parents rejoice as the Slave Leia outfit is now available at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.
-Trevor

Han Solo Cantina Adventure replaces the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride in Disney World. The catch: you can’t shoot first.
-Landon

Tatooine confirmed as a new world in Kingdom Hearts 3. JK, that game is never coming out.
-Trevor

Would-be playable teammate added to Kingdom Hearts 3: Jar Jar Binks. Players set consoles on fire worldwide.
-Landon

The anticipated new animated series Star Wars Babies airs on Disney Channe in 2013l. Mostly watched by 25 – 30 year old single males.
-Trevor

Star Wars Babies

Source: http://www.bitrebels.com

Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, and Sy Snootle from the Max Rebo Band release new pop hit, “Jabba’s Girls Can’t be Tamed”. Music video premieres on Disney channel, awakening the sexuality of preteen boys nationwide.
-Landon

Star Wars is released for the 4th time. New features include Greedo & Han coming to a gentleman’s agreement, a musical number between Vader & the Emperor called “When you wish upon a Death Star”, and the total replacement of Yoda with Mickey Mouse as “originally intended” by George Lucas.
-Trevor

Star Wars 7 is 15 minutes in length. It opens with a young Anakin Skywalker waking up and realizing it was all a dream. His parents come into his room to tell him it’s a big day: they’re going to Disney World! His stuffed teddy bear, his left slipper, and his mother’s nose hairs are all CG. Written, directed and produced by George Lucas.
-Landon

After that we couldn’t do it anymore. It just became too painful. If you have a worst case scenario for the new Distney/Lucas Film merger, feel free to leave it in the comments.

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